Lewis and Clark Valley Videos

cc BAD GIRLFRIEND – Louis C.K.



0:00 let me just tell you this first
0:02 I was = at a = place to eat din-ner in New York =
0:05 and I heard these two wo-men talk-ing
0:07 and one of them is talk-ing a-bout the guy shes dat-ing
0:08 they were a-bout twen-ty one years old
0:09 they’re like = NYU stu-dents =
0:11 and so she’s talk-ing a-bout and you know
0:12 a lot and times = I’ll hear this
0:13 a wo-man talk-ing a-bout the guy she’s dat-ing =
0:15 and she runs down the stuff that’s not sat-is-fy-ing =
0:18 the things she does-n’t like, she’s like.. he’s just.. =
0:20 you know i text him and = does-n’t like re-spond right a-way
0:23 and then = when he does it’s like = what-ev-er
0:26 so that’s weird = and then like I saw him and he’s just be-ing wierd =
0:31 and so then he like calls me he’s like
0:33 I’m sor-ry I’m wierd, coz it’s like weird right now
0:35 And I was like what-ev-er =
0:37 and = ??? =
0:39 So and it’s just wierd =
0:41 And then I’m lis-ten-ing cause I’m won-der-ing
0:42 what is her friend gon-na say?
0:43 I wan-na know what kind of friend she has, you know =
0:45 and her friend just says he’s a piece of shit =
0:48 he’s a piece of shit
0:50 he’s = not good e-nough for you
0:52 because you’re a-maz-ing =
0:54 you’re a-maz-ing =
0:56 so he just can’t han-dle = how a-maz-ing you are =
.
1:01 and i re-mem-ber think-ing
1:02 that is a shit-ty friend =
1:05 that’s not a good friend =
1:07 that is not a good way to ap-proach life
1:09 I’m a-maz-ing! =
1:11 And any-bo-dy who does-n’t text me back is just.. =
1:13 can’t han-dle how a-maz-ing I am! =
1:16 I mean she’s a stu-dent.
1:17 She can’t be.. she’s not Nel-son Man-de-la, she’s in = col-lege. =
1:22 I’m sure she’s fine but
1:24 you’re a-maz-ing the way you = take class-es =
1:28 What is = so a-maz-ing? =
1:31 She’s kind-a bor-ing. He’s kind of a douche. They’re fine. =
1:34 They’re fine. =
1:36 You need to know that you’re bor-ing a lit-tle bit it’s im-por-tant =
1:39 Self love is a good thing but self-awareness is more = im-por-tant. =
1:44 You need to once in a while go oh, I’m kind of an ass-hole
1:46 you have to have that thought once in a while, = or you’re a psy-chopath. = You know like when you say to a friend of yours
1:51 . ‘you’re be-ing an ass-hole’
1:53 and they’re like ‘no I’m not’. =
1:54 Well it’s not up to you = if you’re an ass-hole or not.
1:58 That’s up to ev-ery-bo-dy else. =
2:01 You don’t get to say no to that. =
2:05 You’re an ass-hole.
2:06 No I’m not. =
2:06 Oh sor-ry, I thought.. o-kay, I’m glad I checked. =
2:09 I guess you’re not =
.
2:13 it’s like A-mer-ica..
2:14 I feel like A-mer-ica is like = the world’s worst girl-friend. =
2:19 A-mer-ica is like a ter-ri-ble girl-friend to the rest of the world
2:23 because when some-bo-dy hurts a-mer-ica she re-mem-bers it for-ev-er =
2:26 but if she does-n’t any-thing bad it’s like it’s what? =
2:30 . I did-n’t do any-thing. =
2:33 A-mer-ica, why do you keep bomb-ing those peo-ple in Ye-men and all these..
2:35 Well it’s because 9/11. O-kay? = Nine Ele-ven. =
2:40 So shut up. = Ass-holes. =
2:44 O-kay well you killed hun-dreds of thou-sands of peo-ple so I think..
2:46 Yeah I know but 9/11. = Fuck you. =
2:49 You don’t ev-en un-der-stand. =
2:52 Yeah but you’re tor-tur-ing peo-ple.
2:53 I di.. = It was-n’t ev-en tor-ture, oh my god. =
.
th.ai 10x more precisely timed captions
cc@th.ai youtu.be/UcZFr3lHXh0

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